It's snowing!

Disclaimer

All about her heart

Read them carefully!

Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the dancefloor,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy practising,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?

Blog

Sunday, January 10, 2010; 5:56 AM

2010 have arrived .. Will this year be a better year for me? i never dare to dream anything special this year. It have started off with a bad start off. Am i ready to go thru this hard period by myself?? i knew i need to seek help for my condition yet i have been avoiding ever since my sec days. Going thru this period definately going be a tought time for me. i knew i need to leave this place and get myself well again.but i might not be able to go thru all myself till i am well. I wish he can be with me. but i know it will be impossible yet i longer it badly. it's been a year plus ever since i started to fall for him. Tried many ways just to forget him. Including my partner. i knew i have hurt alot of ppl during this period and i am truly sorry. with my health condition, i can't help or control myself. I knew i need medication yet i don't want face the reality. it was a cruel reality and i hate it.

And here i am at Aranda COuntry Club with NUS having their chalet. HE came and he jus bright up my smile. was in the room tgt with him viewing youtube was jus like those moments i jus to spend with him. so much memories. I wish times stay but i know gd memories don't last.

GOD pls tell me a reason. i need strength more for this year.

Monday, December 28, 2009; 1:39 PM

It's been like ages ever since u have updated my poor blog..so i decided to write something before i say goodbye to 2009.

As a conclusion , life isn't that great for me for 2009. More downs than ups happen for me throughout the whole year. Graduated my diploma and higher nitec in march. Found a full time job in May. Working at Kidz Pediatric Occuptional therapy Center. Pay way below the range i asked..Therefore struggling so much due to so less pay..Started paying everything on my own, of course not gonna be enough. Can't work another job anot.. Cause contract say so. Haiz..It just sux. It wasn't that great working over thr. Doesn't feel happy at all. Going to work means gg to a war. Haiz. It just sux.

Dancing?? it wasn't that too good too.. Started my partnership with benji in dec 2008..ended in aug 2009..competed 3 comps together. Felt hopeless, restless, lifeless without a partner. Haiz.. But i was lucky to found a good partner in Oct. It was great to be competing again..but doing purely standard. It wasn't that bad too. Cause i simply in love with standard. COmpeted 1st comp tgt in dec 13 with great result. 3 gold 1 silver. After the comp partnership went wrong.. Broke up partnership. Dreams been shattered again. Too tired dancing. Feels like giving up. everyone asking me why i wanna give up when dance is such a big part of my life. But it wasn't that great too.. But after some matter, ronghua wants to partner back. But it felt that something is missing. No longer the excitment as before. But i will still try my best. Then i join NUS SnB performance team. Performing Jive on 28 Jan at Zicra with the invitation from SMU. it was great. Meet alot of new friends.

Birthday is over, 21st?? I dun wanna remember such day. It was horrible.. 21st supposed to be something memorable but i guess i have nth to remember. i miss my 20th birthday celebration alot. Celebrated with Piglet, tiara, freeman.. short and sweet celebration. One word, GREAT. Xmas kinda "fun"??? practising my jive for ther performance at TPJC?? for Xmas eve and Xmas?? Oh my god...i realli dun have life man.. WOrk, School, dance..nth else..it jus sux.

I jus hope that 2010 will be a better year for me. WIll update once more before i farewell goodbye to 2009.

Ciao~!!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009; 11:07 PM

Time waits for no one that's why i cherish time. But things seems to be always going against me. 2 Years back, or should i say 5 years back, i knew jiaqi and tat's when i fall for him. It was sweet and memorable. But things started to change because of my character. I changed and i still lose him. And here i am history repeating again. Too emotional to handle such issue again. No more elaboration.

I rather don't know u at all in the first place.
I rather don't wanna have those sweet memories at all
I rather been sad than happy.
Cause i can't take it any longer.

You gave me hope
You taught me what's all life about
You changed me for a better person
And You gave me scar that leaves 4ever.

Sunday, September 6, 2009; 11:30 PM

Woosh...past week was stressful but had a meaning full week after all. ballet class was fun. but sch was not fun. Rushing for assignment like madness..seriously madness.Left 3 more weeks to complete the whole assignment. Topic is Facilities Management & event & convention management. Seriously a wide topic and details of researching need to be done. Wonder how am going to cope with it till it ends. And guess was i am to change my elective module. From sports & leisure management to casino management. Haiz...

Oh ya. Been busy with housework and topping up of groceries. Riding bicycle to admiratly with full of food and back to home and then to ntuc to buy more stuff.Mopping of floor, washing dishes. washing clothes etc.

Sat was like madness. went for peter jazz class.realise that my body is so stiff.need to work harder tog et back my flexiblity.Class was overall great jus that i didn't bring water along and didn't eat anything so was kinda thirsty and hungry.

Night was great, went to studio for pass some stuff back to benji and dinner with genevieve and terence at Out of the Pan. Food wasn't that good the day..haiz... then off we go for some jap dessert and off i go to airport to fetch dad, mum and sis.

And for today went for John & Josephine competition.Tickets was expensive lor. $60 for day event. But was worth watching. lunch was only at 430pm which concludes my dinner also. then off to buy kenny's present. HoHo... pictures will be up soon...

Stay tune...
=]

Monday, August 31, 2009; 12:41 AM

Had a great day today..Enjoying myself.. Celebrated Kenny's advance birthday at my house with steamboat session.. It is nice to have such gathering with close friend..Came Sotong, Zijian and kenny..4 friends together..Nice feeling..

Poundering over some things over the past 3 weeks. Ever since after the 1 Aug competition, i find myself very lost..no sense of direction. easily threw temper.. guess it is also part because of bother parents fly back to myanamr. Feel lonely within me. No more dance committment for me..putting weight abit.

Seriously i don't know what's lies for my future ahead. The dream i have..the career i longed to have, the friends i cherish alot.be a SQ girl, an outstanding dancer, a passionate kayaking coach, a warmth and happy family, a group of crap and understanding friends, and also someone who i love and walk the rest of my life.

over the past 3 weeks, i am really tired. I am trying hard to be a happy girl, i failed to do so. So many regrets in my life.i failed. How long can i hold on more.

Monday, August 10, 2009; 10:56 PM

Gonna be 2 mths ever since i update this blog of mine. Dragging and forcing myself in front of the com to write something out of it. i spend 2 full hours writing it okie..Better read it till end. And here i go.

Past 2 months it has been a real tough months for me. Everything happens. Bad & good. The last thing i ever write was regarding about my work which realli seems to be tiring and hurting to go through. But i guess nw, it's realli a challanging period for me. And here i am still surving. So just to conlude about work. Not bad. 70% happy ME~!! new system. new equipments. Rules by my principle =]

What about school?? rushing like a mad woman over assignment to be completed and exams to study. Think i am gg to do badly for my innovation module.haiz..Luckily that's just the internal exams onli.Praying hard for the last paper which is on the 27 aug for the UK exam. That paper no matter what must pass and praying to pass wiht flying colours. So have to study HARD!!!

Let's talk about dance. Went to Batu Pahut for competition in August. Took part in Grade C latin. Won 4th. Happy with the result. Great start off as a first Grade C event. 2 day 1 night event. It was great as a over all.Below are the pics took for the com.Took with Janet and michael. Oh my god. MIchael looks damn HOT~!

Picture of michael during Asia pacfic Dancesport Championship

Why is his eyes closed..haiz..Batu Pahut 2009

Searching back the pic i took with last year Batu Pahut competition. After that will be the Asia pacific dancesport championship/ 8th Singapore open dancesports championship. Took part with Benjamin for Grade E Waltz and Grade C Latin.Won 2nd of grade E waltz. But latin manage to get into 2nd round onli.haiz.. And that's marks the end of our partnership. It's realli turn nasty during the break. It neve happen b4 with Taz partnership.. And it really shocks me and disappointed. Not gonna bitch over here. As i don't wanna remember about it.

Pictures of us during our last competition together.

New Friends & old friends i made during the com

Words for my ex partner:

We may ended our parthnership. But it has been a great 9 months partnering together.Going through ups and down together. Real hardship, real improvenment together. =] I never regret partnering you but i guess when things and character don't works out, things have to stop in order for us both to progress. And that's what we have decided too. Let's just hope each other with best wishes and not doing anything underhand.

Memories of Batu Pahut competition

hmm..so i guess now i will be stop doing dancesport competitive at the moment. Perhaps just taking standard class at laoshi there and focus on my ballet and some class under Peter. I tink i am satisifed with the life right now. As i have been working for almost 4 mths and getting my 4th mth pay end of this month, i was wondering where has all my money gone to?? as i didn't save a single cents each mth. That's sound really badly right.School fees, transportation, food has already cost me about $620. Which means i have been spending the rest of my pay on dance!!! which includes lesson and costume. Can u believe it?? i am spending too much on dance..that's doesn't sound so healthy at all. So i have decided to take a real good break from competitive dancing and re-plan my budget every month again.

Gonna buy some stuff for my house and dad!! time to be filial daughter. As mum have went back to Myanmar now to settle some house matter and sister engagement, i have to do housework as usual.haiz. Sister is engaging at Sedona Hotel in Myanmar. 6* hotel..cool ah..but too bad i can't go..haiz...nvm..save money.

Made some plans ahead for myself that i wanna do:
-To get my PADI open water diver certi.
-To pass my assessment for kayaking
-To buy and do present for 2 beloved frens birthday
-To take up jap course
-Army half marathon with better timing.

Think these are the few main top piority right nw.
Pink ribbon run.. http://www.pinkribbonsingapore.com/
President challange run http://www.runsingapore.com/
Any Kaiki??? tag my blog..

Wednesday, June 17, 2009; 1:26 AM

It feels so hurt. Never in my life i have cried while working. And i cried today. Working full time in the society is so different. Feeling hurt when u are back stab after jus a mth at work. So stressful. So unhappy. Everything is jus a routine. Or should i say everyday is jus a routine.

I jus wanna be happy.
I guess i am really worn out with my life.
I tried to smile but i failed.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009; 1:48 AM

i jus feel worn out after so much things happen for the past 1 mth..
i am jus feeling tired..
But i still have to hold on till i no longer able to take it..

For the past 6 mths, i am jus a fool

Sunday, May 17, 2009; 11:26 PM

Started on my full time job on 11 May. Finally a stable income after 2 mths of job hunting. First few days of work really bored. When everything was throw at me to learn. Good enough my colleagues were there to teach me. But guess i can't click with them. And also becos i can't keep still.

Busy life started for me. Is it a good sign or bad sign? everyday after work those are things i do:
Mon - meet up for dinner with tiara
Tue - ballet class then headed with jie shi to see peter's jazz class
Wed - samba private class for show dance performance
Thurs - rest day
Fri - practise samba with yiling and yeoming
Sat - Pick up race pack, down for blood donation but failed due to low blood pressure (tried 2 years back due to need medical letter,2nd time underweight and today is 3rd time failed again) work at 1pm den dance at 7pm
Sun - full day kayaking

Life is starting to get packed up. But not fully packed. I wants a life that is fully packed. Life seems to be abit slow for me. I WANTS MY OLD LIFE BACK..

As i was doing coaching today, i am thankful to yong kok and james to be pushing and forcing me to do things i limit alot. I am trying to open myself up bit by bits. i promise to clear my assessment before my birthday. That's my promise. I don't think i should disappoint both of you for the effort put towards me.

Thursday, May 7, 2009; 2:35 PM

The Harder You Try To Impress To Gain Acceptance,
The More Often You Found Being Rejected.

It seems right and easy but it is so hard to do it.