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All about her heart

Read them carefully!

Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the dancefloor,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy practising,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?

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Thursday, August 23, 2007; 3:30 PM

8 years of struggles

Sun was another day for me..at home doing projects whole day..i realli hate tis year..so many projects...mon another day at sch..as usual ba..nth special..go training at swissotel lor..fun..=)..tue another day..went to take pay after sch..saw doreen..after that went for shopping at far east...=x...i bought 4 pair of coloured contact lenses...=)..2 pair of shoe..1 necklace..tat's all ba..=).. seems like i and doreen had the same taste in things..gonna have a shopping spree soon...=).. have been sleeping veri early these 2 days ba..to get back enough slp form the past 2 weeks lor..liddat den can tarhan for the next 2 weeks again....

wed..bad day...realli bad day...morning go do projects..meet at 830 but i was late..=x..i hardy late de ok..stupid bus and rain...jam on highway...haiz..glad to see violet came too..=)..done the project den went for ISS..watch video...den have PIE..watch movie..=x..seems like i enjoying life hor..=x..den went to ICA to take the citizenship form..den went to causeway point.. bought movie ticket to watch..881...den go library return books...was early so went to browse ard books..see gt anything useful for my projects..but was abit tired so went home first..

was a disaster at home..my cousin came from myanmar le..staying at my hse...in my room but here i was "kicked" out of my room..although is my bro room la..is where i do my projects cos the com there is better..changed and headed to causeway point..damn frustated..all my eyes was tears..which recall me back wat happen 8 years back..8 years...i nv have a complete family till nw.. becos of my sis incident..my life had changed..from good to bad..bad to good but to worse nw..i tried my best to 4get the incident and my hatred le..but whenever such things happen it recall me back of my past..tot after i noe jiaqi my life had changed better alot..and even tot i fially able to let go of my past..but i was proved wrong..everything was jus a dream for me.. gg for counselling sessions during my olevels period was more tougher for me to struggle thru.. i run away from the counselling sessions..hurting myself..and even tot death...eventually i am still getting hurt and pain within me...the love and concern i need was a dust,a dream..yet i still managed to struggle the year..2007 wasn't a gd year for me..tot pastor khong sae is a victory year ??but it seems doesn't apply on me..tot if i choose to stay in singapore and study ITE i will have a change for a new environment but with the same friends but i was wrong again..i should have left to Australia.. i din tok much in sch so as i dun wish wat had happen in sec sch to happen here again..but i was wrong..toking much with my project mate which can cause me any friendship lost again..Shut up is the best...i had lost 2 close frens of mine already...i can nv take another blow again if i have to lose another friendsship...This is how i get the habit of doing most things alone.. transfering over to sports management was a wrong move ba..i shouldn't sacrified so much...what's over is over..i dun wanna tok abt it.. But how abt my suffering right nw... i initiative in doing things in order to find a place whr i can belong to and feel the love and care again..but i owas failed... i am simply KO... i give up..i dun noe if i can still continue wat i am doing now anot.. i am simply breaking down..at least writing blog makes me let out my feeling..crying alone at nite..puching the wall ..biting myself..all doesn't seems to work..tell me wat can i do...

All i wan is a complete happy family. Nothing much.. i jus wan the concern & love from ppl..is it so hard for me...?tell me...someone pls tell me...

Labels: Dance makes me wow

Sunday, August 19, 2007; 12:00 PM

400 kayakers at kallang basin

yeah...i am back from the kayaking...fri morning went to sch at 830..was raining heavily but it din spoilt my day...was recalling back the moive "take the lead"...the dances was realli nice..wanna dance like those one day..perhaps after latin 2 i will continue ballroom dancing...=).. return back the cd to ms cheryl den went to OFA..do all my printing stuff...=x...guess OFA leson whr i do all my printing for free ba...=x...den went to meet jeremy to do the name card and flyer for camp ahoy..left sch at 345 den went to meet his frens den the ventures..along the way saw kian seng sir and KH..went there eat dinner..had briefing...i saw Hong Wei too..part of the kayakers too...=)..den OTOT le lor..i was doing my camp ahoy proposal and ISS projects lor..was realli sleepy and tiring..cos i realise i have been sleeping abt 2 or 3 hours a day onli for the past weeks...at 2am i stop doing le..cos can't take it le..realli too much stress le..ISS exam coming..BFD exam coming...haiz..perhaps crying helps me to let out my emotions ba...wanted to practice my dance but gt alot of ppl there...so tok to skipper lor..i realli feel gd whenever after i tok to skipper le...telling me the do & don't...right & wrongs...i realli feel gd ba...den both of us slept at 3am ..at least 1 hour slp will give us energy ba..

4am was our waking up time so struggle myself out of the sleeping bag..feel veri cold when i woke up...slping open air leh...and is so near to the sea lor..but nice slping in open space...den eat breakfast bla bla...headed down to kallang water venture..prepare ourself and headed to the marina bay platform..had some rehersal b4 heading down..First time see 400+ kayakers at the kallang basin..was pretty messy but it was coordinate properly so was fine..den wait for MR President to arrived..do our paddle salute..=)..will update the pics soon..although was jus 5 mins event but it was fun..den headed back..wash up..waited for the rain to stop den headed back to pasir ris...ate our lunch and wash up..den went to white sand for camp ahoy meeting..kinda sad when our conclusion was not to have a camp ahoy but instead a district camp..=)..perhaps tis might be the better first step for our troop to get known within the jurong district ba..=) but there still abit of disappointment ba..so nwi can fully concentrate on my rigel le...=)...after tat went back home.. rest for awhile den mum ask me make fried wonton for dad..cos he prefer my cook...=)..

During the 2 day 1 night was tinking alot of things..guess i am a thinker ba...loves thinking..haha...guess i am starting to let go of Jiaqi le ba..busy wif projects and scouts..i din have the time to tink of any other thing else le ba..fully focusing of things i wanna achieve...
10 Things i wanna achieve:
1. Complete my samba/Jive den continue ballroom dancing..perfect my dances steps and hope can go for compeitions.
2.Continue my windsurfing skill after Bing Lun ends his Olevels
3. Go as many attachment for my Level 1 kayaking coach.
4. Save money for Goodwill Camp end of year
5.Successfully achieve Project Rigel
6.Do my best as treasurer in NRC
7. Camp Ahoy
8.Weekly Swimming practice to improve my stamina
9.Train my Stamina/pull up.
10.score well in my coming major exams

Labels: All about dance