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All about her heart

Read them carefully!

Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A hidden note, A secret crush,
A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the dancefloor,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even know my name,
You're too busy practising,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
If I say hello,
Will you notice me?

Blog

Thursday, October 4, 2007; 10:04 PM

ytd had dance practise at shawn & gladys..guess i can't dance well ba..can see that laoshi's face..i tried my best..ended le..discuss abt my performance..performing wif yang boon..den headed to scout hq..yanhao was at there onli..followed by david den the rest..i can't stop imagine the result in my head..bleeding in liver... in urine gt blood...wat's this!!!!i can't stop thinking negative..cos mum told me b4 both my grandmothers from her side died of cancer near the stomach area de organs..but mum dun wan tell me the details...dad leh..my 2nd aunt jus passed away in feb becos of the same reason..it means wat..it is ..nvm i dun wish to sae the word out..it's hurting..waiting for the 2nd result out nw..hope nth disaster will happen... if it is..my life..my future is gone..i dun even have a dipolma certi in order to support myself..unlike bro and sia...my future is realli gone..nt saying having frens or bf..they can't help me..i dun even have the support for my family le..nt saying frens or relationship...i tried myself nt to cried in front of ppl yet i still did..2007 is nt a victory year for me as wat pastor khong says..it's a disaster year for me..indeed for me..all the unhappy stuff happen within me..it's too much to handle..it's tired..but do any one understand for me..no.. all i can tink is if anything realli happen..tat's will be the last resort i am going to use..wat's tat ?? onli GOD and i noes..but i am Sorry...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007; 4:14 PM

guess i m back to blog b4 i go to work..it's been more than a week i blog..

guess i am too busy wif my work le..work from morning to night..7am to 1130pm..pretty tired..but i choose this myself..nw get hurt myself le..ankle swollen le..haiz..yet continue working..cos who cares..no one..

went for blaze 1 camp from 24-26 sept..24 again..haiz..during the camp was fun ba..make a lot of new frens..especially the last nite..dress up as glady..haha..my idol wor..won the best cat walk..haha..den last day of camp rush down for dance after camp..nice practise although veri tiring..haha..den meet isablle they all, my sc memebers to dinner at suntec..pretty fun..haha..den working non stop till today lor..still working..

went for church on sun in the morning..alone.meet chee aik for lunch lor..tok abt my cell family..guess my heart is back to GOD but i am nt ready to face my family yet..=(..den had wardroom meeting..become the yeoman for the leaders..=( or =).. i dun noe..wanted not to involve too much in scouts le..cos too much hurting..even in NRc i wanted to give up le..cos i dun wan to put my unit in shame if i wan to quit NRC..guess i am stuck again in scouts ba.. i wanted to win for the SRR is becos of fullfilling my veri gd fren Wan Cai's last wishes..tis is all i can do for him..even 3rd is enough..the medal is for him..

Had meeting wif boon ytd for prepartaion for my elections for student council ba..m i feeling excited abt it?? maybe onli ba..haiz..back for training after tat lor..den 8+ went to meet yong quan for dinner..NITES out..haha..but gonna be back in for 3 weeks..so long nv meet up wif him le..haha..pretty nice diinner ba..den home sweet home..

woke up at 1pm tis afternoon onli..guess i am too tired le ba..lost sleep for the past 1 weeks..sleeping 2 hours per day lor..den watch dvd den bath den guess who call?? someone i nv wish tat he will call..Him..guess somethings i will put it as a secret 4ever..no one noes except me..i dun wish to interfer in their relationship anymore..they have been together so long le..guess tis will be my destiny...i face it...i realli face it...i am hurt but who noes..i owas tell myself GOD will give me strength to carry on..i am trying but i am owas negative..nah..4ever nonsense from me..haha..say me childish who dun have the strength to do anything anymore when he left me... realli a childish gal who nv grows up..=)..

i need prayers right nw..especially my dad..the medical report isn't tat gd..i can't lose anyone ard me anymore..i can't..i am already losing ppl close to me..not anymore.. my only strength..my family..jus tell me how am i going to struggle on wif my life..my future is no where..hw my destiny gg to be i dun noe..i pray for miracles to happen for my dad..he's the breadsole of our family..let's face the reality..i am tired, lost in no where..let me go..